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What Sherlock and Charles Xavier have to do with D-Day

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Today may be the 70th anniversary of D-Day, but the BBC clearly wasn't thinking about appealing to World War II veterans with its choice of actors to read vintage news broadcasts of the historic event.

In order to share its historic coverage of the turning point for the Allied powers in 1944, the BBC chose three British actors whose butter-smooth voices are most likely to distract us completely from their recitation of news bulletins: Benedict Cumberbatch, Sir Patrick Stewart, and Mad Men's Toby Jones. 

The three actors recited news bulletins from throughout June 6–8, 1944, lending their dulcet tones to one of the most significant moments in human history.

The clips are only a few minutes each, and are available on the BBC website.

Screengrab via BBC


Still in chains, trans woman escapes from months of slavery

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She thought she was moving in with trusted friends whom she met through the online BDSM community.

But when she tried to put an end to "roleplay" that had grown more and more abusive, they put her in chains and branded her.

It's being called the most “severe and disturbing” case of Human Trafficking ever investigated in this quiet Louisiana county. But there was nothing quiet about the Wednesday arrest of three people who allegedly held a transgender woman as a slave for months until she escaped, still wearing the chain around her neck.

An assistant town marshal for the tiny village of Robeline, La., made a horrifying discovery on the night of May 31. At a local business he found a frantic woman suffering from severe lacerations and bruises. Attached was a 35-foot logging chain with a bucket on the end.

The woman, who is in her early 50s, claimed to have stolen a vehicle from her captors in the nearby rural community of Pleasant Hill in order to escape after years of being subjected to abuse, held hostage, and enslaved.

Over the intense investigation that followed, authorities learned that the woman had been living as a slave for two years in the household of David Rodriguez Jr., 37, and Christina Marie Harper, 39. Also living in the house during the period were two minors, ages 15 and 16, who were placed into Child Protective Services.

The three alleged kidnappers: David Rodriguez, Ambre Lopez, and Christina Harper. Photo via Natchitoches Parish Police.

Detective Tim Key of the Natchitoches Parish Sheriff's Office revealed new details about the arrests at a Friday press conference. The woman met Rodriguez and Harper through the website Collarme.com, which iscurrently offline due to an unrelated domain dispute. The woman, who wanted to pursue lifestyle roleplay as a slave, agreed to move from her home in Minnesota to live with the couple in rural Louisiana after her family disowned her because of her "new lifestyle."

Lifestyle roleplay of this kind is a frequent practice within the BDSM community. But the BDSM community emphasizes the importance of consensual, ethical roleplay practices with clear boundaries. Although the nature of the woman's slave status may have originally been consensual, there seems to have been little that was ethical about the dynamic at any point.

Rodriguez, who had helped the woman move from Minnesota to Louisiana, allegedly forced her to give him all her cash, along with ownership of her Harley-Davidson motorcycle, shortly after she moved in. Then he registered her at a slave registration website like slaveregistry.com and tattooed the ID on her skin.

Over time, his abuse grew more and more intense. As her BDSM master, Rodriguez forced the woman to do everything from cooking and caring for the other members of the household to performing grueling yard work, including single-handedly digging and installing a swimming pool. She was also forced to sleep in a 3-by-5 wooden box at the foot of the couple's bed, and expected to perform regular sex acts.

If the woman refused or failed to complete any of her chores, Rodriguez beat her and disciplined her. A third party identified by authorities as Ambre Lomas, 39, assisted Rodriguez and Harper in the woman's punishment, which included forcing her to drink urine, carving their initials into her skin, and tazing the woman with a stun gun later seized by police from the home.

The woman told police that the beatings and torture worsened over time. When she finally told Rodriguez that she wanted to leave, Rodriguez refused to let the "roleplay" end. Instead, he chained the woman outside "for two days and nights, nude, in the woods, with no food and no water," according to Key.

After a rainy Memorial Day weekend, the woman was forced to move into a small storage shed on the property, where she was held from Monday May 26. It was there, on the following Saturday, that she was finally able to break out of her captivity and escape.

Natchitoches police and Louisiana State Police worked together on the case, which resulted in a search and seizure of numerous items from the home on Wednesday, including multiple firearms. The three suspects turned themselves in to police Wednesday morning and were subsequently charged with human trafficking, aggravated second-degree battery, and second-degree kidnapping.

The case bears similarities to other incidents of escalating abuse over time by those in positions of power, such as the Stanford Prison Experiment or the brutal murder of Sylvia Likens. But the abuse is also far too familiar to members of the trans community.

The Trans* Violence Tracking Portal, a website recently crowdfunded in order to increase the visibility of violence against trans individuals, released a special statement about the incident on Friday:

The systematic vileness of the dehumanization and assault on this woman by the three perpetrators is beyond words. The TVTP is greatly concerned as well by the rapid negative depiction and victim blaming towards this incredible transgender woman who survived such brutality. …

We are very grateful that has she has escaped, is now safe and that law enforcement has quickly acted to prevent any further harm to the community by these three individuals. We wish her well on her recovery from such a horrid crime and hope that the prosecutor will enact appropriate charges quickly against the perpetrators.

The woman has been removed to protective custody with the Louisiana State Police. If found guilty, her attackers could each face over 30 years in prison.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

The Kickstarter project that killed Tumblr's favorite meme

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Accusations are swirling that plans to animate Tumblr's beloved Miss Officer and Mr Truffles fanart meme could be smoke and mirrors. Fanartist Ami Guillen, lemonteaflower on Tumblr, saw her adorable fanart of a real Canadian policewoman and her bear companion go viral earlier this year.

But after launching a Kickstarter to turn the meme into an animated series earlier this week, Guillen has come under fire from Tumblr users who are suspicious that the project may be a scam.

The project is seeking an ambitious $80,000 in order to fund the creation of a single seven-minute promotional short, to be used as a launchpad to pitch a full-length series aimed at kids ages eight to 12. Guillen and her project team state they've spent months researching the cost involved with producing the animated short, and have proposed an itemized breakdown of their expenditures.

 

But many Tumblr users are upset with the Kickstarter. The point-and-mock Tumblr Your Kickstarter Sucks detailed a few of the issues, calling it"a big mess of the thing." So what has outraged them?

For starters, before she had the username lemonteaflower, Guillen went by the name livethefaggotry. Her Society 6 shop and her Redbubble shop, at which she sells products from the Miss Officer and Mr Truffles project, both still use the old handle in the url. For obvious reasons, Tumblr's diverse community is less-than-thrilled about supporting a project that seems to come with unrepentant use of a homophobic slur.

But there are other perhaps even more alarming accusations being leveled at the project. Artist Louise Leung posted to her Tumblr Tuesday to speak out on behalf of artists whom she claimed had been abused, overworked, and underpaid as part of the project:

Guys I super super super never usually do this but I really gotta speak out about this project.

A bunch of my friends used to work for this project and I emphasize USED TO because the people working on the project bullied one out of working, made another quit due to their hypocritical and disgusting work ethic and is withholding/refusing payment for the work they’ve done (which is a lot). They’ve even sent a termination letter that was basically a personal attack on my friend and threatened that if they said anything slanderous, they wouldn’t get paid.

Another was promised a certain sum of money to animate and clean up the previews and is WONDERFULLY DONE only to be thrown out and substituted with the work officially shown in the previews after previously demanding work to be done on a fast turnaround, despite her having a full time job. Even after completing all of her work within the time she promised, she was only offered less than a fifth of what was previously agreed on.

The writer that attended VanCaf lied to get sales claiming that certain works were done by the creator when it was done by someone else in the group.

Guys, do not support the project for the sake of my friends who were cast aside and bullied from this project as well as the absolutely shoddy quality of what’s presented here [sic]

The problems don't end there. Though at the moment the Kickstarter is nowhere near its $80,000 goal, it's listed a fun stretch goal: At the $100,000 mark, "Our friends at Squishable.com have agreed to prototype a super special seven-inch Mr. Truffles Plushie!"

Except according to Tumblr user vuroro, they haven't. Vuroro claimed that after getting suspicious, they emailed Squishable about the Kickstarter. The company allegedly responded that the project had not contacted them and did not have plans to develop a Squishable prototype. At press time, the company had not returned a request for comment.

Guillen stated on Kickstarter earlier today that "We are in communications with Squishables about our prototype and will be handling this internally since they have asked us to keep this private." Since the prototype has already been made public, this seems an odd statement. At press time, a request for comment to the project had returned a form email but no official response.

On the project's official Tumblr yesterday, Guillen explained that she had previously apologized for her earlier use of slurs. But in her previous apology, before the Kickstarter launched, Guillen, who is only 18, seemed unable to articulate what she was apologizing for and what readers could expect from her in the future. And since the Society 6 and Redbubble shops where the products are sold are both still using the url, however, this explanation has not satisfied many Tumblr users.

In response, Tumblr users critical of the project were scouring Guillen's Internet trail to add fodder to their claims that the Kickstarter was bad news. Though some of the claims around the project seem far-fetched, like an unsubstantiated rumor that the animation crew was trying to profit from the unverified death of the original bear, there are enough concerns that the project has lost momentum. The Kickstarter has only reached about 10 percent of its $80,000 goal so far, and readers seem reluctant to put more money behind a project whose creator is so young and which has raised so many red flags. 

Update:  The Daily Dot has received an email from the project responding to and clarifying many of the points raised in this article.

Thanks for touching base with us. Just wanted to let you know we have shed light on some of these issues on our blog but we are more than happy to address all of them here with you.

Ami is in the process of deleting all stores still using the name 'livethefaggotry'. After attempting numerous times to change the name with Society6 and RedBubble, all of us, including Ami, feel this is the best option. Ami identifies as bisexual and chose the name when she was younger and expressed herself differently, but she deeply regrets upsetting and offending people and wishes to start over. We have all been on the same page that the name needed to change, we are glad to move forward with this, and we deeply apologize for any offense.
 
We have been communicating with Squishables since May 14 about Miss Officer and Mr Truffles, but due to legal and manufacturing reasons involved with a Kickstarter that we were unaware of, we are pursuing other options. This is on us and we're sorry for the misunderstanding, and have since changed things accordingly. They have allowed us to share this statement:
 
"Miss Officer and Mr. Truffles contacted us for details about making a custom plush in May, which we responded to. It sounds like there was a misunderstanding about how the development process works and what is required to include a Squishable in a Kickstarter campaign, and no formal development plans were put into place at that time. We are certain this was nothing more than a miscommunication on both sides, and that no malice nor ill will was intended by the Miss Officer & Mr. Truffles team."
 
We are a collective of artists, producers, and animators who have all been donating their free time with the understanding that we would all be paid if the Kickstarter is successful. Our team has been rotating due to production demands and personal lives, which is completely reasonable. We had some temp hires who could not deliver the quality we needed or the retakes we asked for and they left the production. We were unaware there were problems until after the Kickstarter launch, and we resolved the matter privately with them. The rest is speculation by second parties uninvolved with the project. All of our staff are working professionals in animation and gaming who have delivered above and beyond without any problems and around their current work schedules. If anyone has been unable to deliver, we never asked them to do more than they could handle and we have worked around it. If the Kickstarter is funded, everyone who has contributed work to Miss Officer and Mr Truffles, regardless of their current standing with the production or if that work was used, will be paid for their time and work.
 
Thank you for reaching out to us as these rumors are just as concerning to everyone on our team. I hope this clears up any problems. Our artists, producers, and actors are currently working on posts to display their involvement in the MOAMT project since they feel strongly about the production and want to clear up these misconceptions. I am enormously proud to be part of this team because we have all been drawing, compositing and marketing as much as we can with whatever resources we have. We hope to see our hard work pay off and make something great while doing it.
 
Kate (producer)

Photo via officialmoamt/tumblr

Teen stabs mother in copycat 'Slender Man' attack

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Just days after two girls attempted murder as a sacrifice to 'Slender Man,' an Internet-created horror meme they thought was real, another girl with the same obsession has allegedly stabbed her own mother.

The anonymous woman told WLWT news in Cincinatti Friday that her 13-year-old daughter dressed in a white mask, waited until she came home, and stabbed her after reading about the recent Slender Man attacks.

"She was someone else during that attack," said the mother. 

The mother claims that she returned home from work one evening to find her daughter waiting for her in the kitchen, holding a knife and speaking to her about the role she needed to play. Then she attacked, stabbing her mother multiple times.

The teenager suffered from mental health issues and had a history of troubling writing that referenced demons, killing, and "falling into darkness." Her mother said that she had nurtured a particular obsession with the Slender Man mythos, writing about him and creating an entire world dedicated to him in Minecraft.

The woman believed that her daughter was encouraged to commit the attack after learning about last week's attack by two Wisconsin children on a third girl, which they believed would cause Slender Man to spare their families and take them to his mansion. 

“We do have to police what they do and what they read,” the mother said.

The mother was treated for minor injuries to her face, neck, and back. Her daughter remains in custody at a juvenile detention center, and will be tried as a juvenile.

The mother says the girl claims to have no memory of what happened in the attack.

Photo via Know Your Meme

Sorry, the 'TFIOS' kiss isn't as groundbreaking as you hoped

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John Green has had a big weekend. The film adaptation of his beloved book The Fault in Our Stars opened at No. 1, raking in more than $48 million at the box office. We're as guilty as anyone else of getting swept up in the film's charms, and we're glad it has praiseworthy feminist cred with a smart, funny, and strong female protagonist. So we'll cut him some slack.

But we think he might be just a little drunk on success at the moment. Yesterday, an ebullient Green reblogged a Tumblr GIF of TFIOS' epic romance, Hazel and Gus, and their lovely on-screen kiss:

GIF via fishingboatproceeds

To this touching moment, Green appended the following eager comment:

I just want to point out one thing here: When was the last time the girl kissed the boy in a teen romance? Ever? Has it happened ever? I seriously think it might not have happened ever. 

Really, John? Really? This just happened, like, five minutes ago:

GIF by picture-of-sophisticated-grace

So did this, you know, from that little series your brother produced?

GIF via Leaky News

It's not like this girls-kissing-first thing is anything new. Lauren Bacall's famous go-getter from To Have and To Have Not is one of the most famous on-screen kisses in history, and it's 70 years old:

GIF by Aja Romano

In fact, moviedom is pretty much strewn with iconic kisses initiated by the girl:

GIF via moviegifss

GIFs via Swide

It's even been kind of an epidemic lately:

GIF via chalantness

GIF via felicityrjones

GIF via Giphy

GIF via animatedvault

 
 
 
 
 
GIF via willgardner

GIF via consultingasgardian

But maybe Green's admonition that TFIOS is in fact the first teen romance to have the girl kiss first is actually accurate?

Er, not by a long shot. 

GIF via mbi-gifs

GIF via TV Rage

GIF via Skyrock

GIF via Fan Forum

GIF via Wikia

Well, OK, so John Green got it wrong about girls never kissing first in teen romance. But maybe he specifically just meant feature-length films featuring teen romance?

Except no, no, still no:

GIF via Crushable

GIF via Giphy

GIF via Giphy

Critics already have an unfortunate tendency to allow the works of John Green to overshadow those of other Young Adult authors, a hot topic of discussion in the YA world known as the "John Green Effect." The weekend success of the TFIOS movie comes at a time when many were ready to write off the recent boom in YA adaptations as a dead trend, despite the success of The Hunger Games and Divergent at the box office in the last six months.

So while TFIOS's win at the box office may certainly mean good things for YA, it's important not to let it overshadow other film adaptations of other YA novels. And it's important that we don't let anyone erase the agency women in teen romance and other on-screen love stories have enjoyed over the years. 

Obviously this roster isn't perfect. To quote a friend after looking at all these GIFs, "I'm so happy I can finally go to the movies and see a straight white girl kiss a straight white boy." But it's simply trying to make the point that John Green did not invent the wheel.

It's been done before, and it's been done better:

Update: John Green posted a note to his blog that acknowledges he misspoke about the Hazel/Gus kiss's place in movie history. The author apologizes for being wrong, clarifies a few of his statements, and reminds his readers "I do not deserve any credit for the quality or success of the film."

In my exuberance for the film, I said something that was both flatly wrong and offensive, and I appreciate being called out on it, and I’m sorry.

Screengrab via YouTube

Marvel puts Tom Hardy and Benedict Cumberbatch on its wish list

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The ink is barely dry on Marvel's finalization of new director Peyton Reed to helm Ant Man, but the studio is already looking forward to another high-profile film project: Doctor Strange. The studio just announced a director and screenwriters for the project, Sinister's Scott Derrickson and duo Thomas Dean Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer (Conan).

But who should tackle the complex title role? Tumblr faves Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hardy, according to early reports.

Inside sources at Marvel have told Deadline that the two current British it-men are both on Derrickson and producer Kevin Feige's wish list to play the titular hero, whose character undergoes a massive transformation from greed and hubris to humiliation on his way to becoming a master of magic.

Both Hardy and Cumberbatch have proven magical with audiences: After winning critical acclaim in early roles like Bronson, Hardy sprang to international attention in 2010's Inception, following it up with the meaty role of Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. Meanwhile, Cumberbatch shot straight to international stardom of a more low-key sort, playing the BBC's titular Sherlock before giving a respectable turn as Khan in last year's Star Trek: Into Darkness. Both actors have proven adept at the kind of onscreen physical transformation and needed depth to give this classic superhero modern resonance.

Created in the '60s, Doctor Strange follows the tale of Dr. Stephen Strange, whose life as a brilliant but greedy neurosurgeon is upended when a car accident leaves him unable to use his hands. His search to restore his abilities leads him to become a mighty sorcerer, through a journey of self-discovery that should thrill audiences at the box office. The character also opens up numerous possibilities for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, not only because he's one of the only non-Avengers to make the jump to the big screen, but because he's also one of the most actively magical. And for die-hard comic fans, the surrealist magic sequences and art style that paid homage to Salvador Dali and made the comic a cult hit should be in ready supply.

Previously, Johnny Depp and Jared Leto have been bandied about as contenders for the role, but we find Hardy and Cumberbatch far more realistic names as far as speculation goes. Both Hardy and Cumberbatch have the kind of niche geek appeal that Marvel loves: Hardy is currently riding a wave of critical acclaim for his most recent film, Locke, and Cumberbatch is basically the Harry Styles of geekdom right now. Plus, after each playing high-profile villains, this would make a great breakaway.

And let's face it, it's going to take an actor with a special something to match this guy's flair for the dramatic:

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

While we wish there were some way to have them both play the title role, we'd be happy to see both of them cast in the MCU. The two have acted onscreen together twice before, in the touching early film Stuart: A Life Backwards and 2010's critically acclaimed Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

Here's hoping Marvel adds "caped superhero" to that list for one of them soon.

Photo via Iconosquare

Will Facebook care more about privacy if Mark Zuckerberg is exposed?

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Last month the cybersecurity group CyberInt revealed a longstanding loophole in Facebook's friends security settings that shows how easy it is to get info from supposedly "secure" accounts on the social platform. Although accounts are locked, anyone can see another Facebook user's "mutual" friends, even if the other Facebook user has a locked account.

Mashable employees decided to test CyberInt's theory that anyone—with a little legwork, the right connections, and a new program from CyberInt—could reconstruct another user's friends list. To do it, they chose the most prominent, and supposedly private, user on Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg himself.

Most Facebook users probably think that setting their profile to be visible to "Only Me" is equivalent to putting everything in it, including your social connections, under lock and key. But it's not that simple. If you have mutual connections with another Facebook user, you can see who those connections are, regardless of the other user's privacy settings.

Though Zuck's friends list is locked, the loophole revealed that each of the 248 friends he shares with Facebook product head Chris Cox were public, since Cox's Facebook profile is public. From there, it just took a little digging to come up with another 150 or so of Zuckerberg's other friends.

Predictably, Mashable discovered that Zuckerberg is friends with numerous high-powered Silicon Valley CEOs and other movers and shakers of the tech world, including the CEOs, founders, or cofounders of Mozilla Firefox, Twitter, Yelp, Airbnb, Napster, Dropbox, Foursquare, Ebay, Scribd, and massive Chinese search engine Baidu.

Mashable hoped to make the point that while they were only able to reconstruct a partial list of Zuckerberg's friends based on the number of people in his network with public-facing profiles, the list they extracted was long. It's arguably revealing enough that even the Facebook founder himself might have issues with the privacy double standard.

An unintended side effect of the experiment, however, was to show how intrinsically the higher echelons of Silicon Valley are linked. It's easy to think of Zuck at the center of a spidery social web, each strand leading to a different high-powered CEO. As Mashable's Kurt Wagner put it, "Zuckerberg's full friends list likely features even more intriguing tech connections."

Facebook didn't indicate that it saw an issue with the privacy feature in its response to Mashable, noting instead, "we explain prominently" that your Facebook friends "might select a different group of people" to form connections with. 

So if you're not comfortable with having some of those third-party connections be more public than you, it might be time to consider deleting Facebook.

Photo by Kris Krug/Flickr (CC By SA 2.0) and stuartpilbrow/Flickr (CC By SA 2.0)| Remix by fern

Here's what happily ever after looks like one year later

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Drop everything, Lizzie and Darcy fans: Your favorite lovebirds from the Lizzie Bennet Diaries are back—one year, a successful Kickstarter, and an Emmy award later—to talk about their relationship.

And by "talk" we mean charm us with body language. We'll pause while you swoon:

The happy couple popped up unexpectedly two weeks ago to do a quick "where are they now" update on some of the large ensemble cast of the popular webseries. But they held off discussing what we all really wanted to know: How is their relationship one year later?

Of course, as we all know from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth and Darcy live happily ever after. But it's nice to use the magic of the Internet to peek in on the ultimate romance and see what their day-to-day lives are like. From all appearances, things are going swimmingly for the duo. We even got hints of some of the extras we can look forward to in the upcoming The Secret Diary of Lizzie Bennet, which arrives in bookstores (and our greedy little hands) in two weeks.

The only downside to this latest video? It most likely means that our time with Lizzie and Darcy, adorably played by Ashley Clements and Daniel Vincent Gordh, is at an end. But what a fun ride it was.

So what do you think? Are Lizzie and Darcy the OTP of YouTube? We think so.

If you've somehow managed to miss the story so far, start here and enjoy.

Screengrab via YouTube


Florida school cancels summer reading program over novel 'questioning authority'

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Little Brother is a critically acclaimed young adult sci-fi dystopia written by Cory Doctorow, one of the Internet's most prominent advocates for open access and free speech. First published in 2008, the novel is about teens rebelling against government surveillance. 

The book has now caused a Florida high school principal to cancel his school's summer reading program over the inclusion of Little Brother. Why? It advocates "questioning authority."

Undaunted, Doctorow and his publisher, Tor, have responded by donating 200 paperback copies of the book to the school. Graphic book poster design store Litographs also donated two Little Brother posters to the school, which feature the entire novel in a framed print.

"I think that the role of an educator is to encourage critical thinking and debate, and that this is a totally inappropriate way to address "controversial" material in schools," he wrote on his blog at BoingBoing Friday.

Citing the book's anti-authoritarian values and love of hacker culture, the principal of Booker T. Washington High School in Pensacola, Fla., rejected Doctorow's work as the school's chosen summer-reading assignment.

Screengrab via Craphound

Although the school librarian and an English teacher had worked together to create a curriculum around the book, and although the school administration had already approved the assignment, the school's principal, Dr. Michael Roberts, ultimately banned the school's entire summer reading program rather than have students read Doctorow's novel. According to Doctorow, Roberts's objection was clearly political:

In an email conversation with Ms Griffith, the principal cited reviews that emphasized the book's positive view of questioning authority, lauding "hacker culture," and discussing sex and sexuality in passing. He mentioned that a parent had complained about profanity (there's no profanity in the book, though there's a reference to a swear word). In short, he made it clear that the book was being challenged because of its politics and its content.

The Pensacola News Journalreported that Dr. Roberts specifically objected to the book's portrayal of "questioning authority" as "a positive thing." He also said that he objected to "language" and "overtures" in the book after skimming it.

Doctorow cited the novel's track record of critical acclaim in urging the need for reasoned response to teaching books rather than censorship:

Little Brother is recommended by the Florida Library Association for use in schools, and has been chosen as a One School/One Book title in other schools—it's even been a One City/One Book choice for all of San Francisco. I've visited dozens—if not hundreds—of high-school groups around the world to talk about it.

But while it's one thing to freely discuss a book that lives in a different time and era, it's another to bring the political tension of the modern world into the classroom—and Little Brother, which is freely available online under a Creative Commons license, is a book that lives in the here and now.

Little Brother espouses an "outspoken" political ideology of free speech, free Internet, and technology-driven populism. Published in 2007, it both prefigures and is born from the online activist culture that has since given rise to the Occupy movement, AnonymousWikiLeaks, and the Open Access battleground that cost Aaron Swartz his freedom and ultimately his life.

Its sequel, Homeland, published in March, is even more sharply political, and even features an afterword from Swartz himself. While Doctorow's story has one foot in science-fiction, it has another squarely in the modern world. It seems to be a crossover Roberts found too difficult to teach to students during their unsupervised summer months.

Photo via BoingBoing

Ironically, the stated aim of the One School/One Book program was to "promote the students and faculty coming together through the reading and discussion of a common book." Instead, it's fomented a division: the school's English Department head, Mary Kate Griffith, who helped choose the book for the program, filed a complaint with the National Council Against Censorship. The organization addressed the incident in a letter to the school on Monday, arguing that Roberts' unilateral decision to cancel the program and reject the book "violates basic Constitutional principles."

"(In the book), there's so much history, so much technology and math," Griffith told the Pensacola News Journal. "It's the type of book that would create questions and discussion for students. It has something in it that every student would be able to relate to."

Having been removed from the schoolwide curriculum, the book will only be available as optional reading material in the fall—and only to 11th-grade students in AP English.

Photo via BoingBoing

Watch a terrified man escape a great white

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As we all learned from Jaws, there's a concrete list of 'don't's when you're swimming in an area populated by sharks: No splashing, no making noise, no attracting attention to yourself, and, preferably, no swimming in an area populated by sharks.

Somehow, this lucky swimmer managed to do every one of them, but he managed to escape after an encounter that only needs an ominous bass line to rival your favorite shark movie for thrills.

Okay, so the great white doesn't look all that hungry, and it's probably wondering why the man with the camera on his head is flailing and screaming at him. 

But there's plenty of terror to be had in this amazing GoPro footage, uploaded earlier today by YouTuber Terry Tufferson. In the short but harrowing clip, we experience a dive off Manly Jump rock into the pristine, cobalt water of Sydney Harbour with a swimmer—only to emerge to the surface to hear his friend's panicked point-and-yell: "Shark! Shark! Behind you!"

From there, what looks like a frantic kick-and-swim race is on.

After you're done yelling in fright along with the swimmer, it's important to remember that humans kill 100 million sharks every year, all while most sharks, even great whites, won't hurt people.

Although the footage made several news outlets, many viewers believed the video was a hoax, and that the shark had been edited in afterwards. Given that Australia is a hotbed of shark activity, however, real-life shark encounters aren't that hard to come by.

As for whether those underwater screams are the real deal? Well, we hope we never have to find out firsthand.

Screengrab via YouTube

Popular vloggers speak out against homophobia on YouTube

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Mitchell Moffit and Gregory Brown are scientists first, vloggers second.

They're the creators of the popular YouTube channel AsapSCIENCE, which boasts over 2 million subscribers. But as they revealed today in an endearing video in which they came out "again," they've also been romantic partners for seven years and counting.

Citing homophobic remarks they've received over the years, Moffit and Brown took a break from their typical science-education format to tackle a much more personal subject: homophobia and the need for visible queer role models.

The duo opened with a hilarious read-aloud of some of the milder, and occasionally funny, comments their videos had received over the years. Most of the comments focused on their perceived effeminacy or queer identity, not the content of their videos. Although Moffit and Brown had been open about their relationship in the past, they had never officially come out online.

"Because we've never officially come out online, when reading [the YouTube comments], it really reminded us of what it felt like to be in early high school before we came out," Brown commented.

They also noted that on YouTube, queer members of the vlog community are scarce, especially in the science and education community. Moffit pointed out as well that women in science and tech seemed to face the same derailment online that gay men do, and that the majority of the pejorative comments they received as men are rooted in sexism. These are both reasons, they claim, to encourage diversity and visibility online.

Watch the whole video, and renew your faith in the Internet's science community.

Screengrab via YouTube

How sexist video game animators keep failing women

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The latest Assassins Creed sequel has no playable characters that are women. You'd think it would be simple: just take the framework upon which you build your playable characters and modify it slightly to suit certain gendered characteristics for male and female options.

Sounds easy enough, right?  But Ubisoft’s technical director James Therien protested yesterday that the latest installment of Assassin's Creed had no women because it would have “doubled the work” of the animation team. For some perspective, it might be helpful to keep in mind that this is the same gorgeously animated, acclaimed franchise that devotes an entire subset of game play to tree-climbing.

Swinging from limb to limb high above the incredibly detailed world? High on the priority list of Assassin's Creed features.

Putting a single woman into an active role in the game? Nah.

This isn't even the first time this has happened recently. Earlier this year, the lead animator of Frozen protested that Disney's 3-D animation software literally didn't possess the ability to make women's faces look distinguishable from one another. 

GIF via moopfloop

This is the same studio that employed a visual effects team of over 40 people in order to design the unique properties of snowflakes. Literally, the women of Tangled and Frozen were less distinguishable to Disney animation software than a pile of snow.

The tangle of issues and layers of sexism that contribute to this situation is overwhelming, but at the core is the fundamentally flawed way women are portrayed in comics, animation, and gaming: a feedback loop of sexual objectification and industry complacence.  

When you perpetuate the idea, across various art-based mediums, that women in drawn art, comics, and animation must and should look and move with flowy, exaggerated gestures, graceful movements, and hips, chest, and ass thrust forward in order to pander to the male gaze at all times, then you make it easier, later on, to use your own sexist animation and art standards as an excuse for why you don't have more women.

Take a look at these highlights from the annals of women in animation and illustration, in which characterization and individualization wars with and loses to the heteronormative male desire for as much T&A as possible.

Image via thehawkeyeinitiative

Image via hasdcdonesomethingstupidtoday

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GIF via sabrina-von-dee

Gif via girl-with-the-eiffeltower-tattoo

Gif via bayonetta

Gifs via sadisticupid

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Gif via IGN

Gif via atrl.net

While the women in these examples all have vastly different characterizations, they all suffer from the same tendency of their animators to sexualize them. This isn't a new phenomenon, either. From the earliest days of the Disney animation studio, its groundbreaking all-male team of animators codified the stylistic traits of female Disney characters: big eyes, baby-doll cuteness, and plenty of sultry gestures and curves:

Gif via artgeekpop

However little practical relationship these kinds of portrayals have to real women, they have endured. In 1986, in order to communicate the "twist" ending that the lead character of Metroid had been female all along, Nintendo memorably removed her full-body armor to reveal a woman in a bikini for no apparent reason. Even in 8-bit format, Samus Aran was hilariously sexualized.

Screengrab via YouTube

The history of gaming is full of similar moments. And the more female characters are sexualized on-screen, the less they have in common with their male counterparts. Of course animators will be reluctant to build interchangeable male and female characters—it means they would have to design women who walk, run, and idle normally.

You know, the way their male playable characters do.

Industries that rely on animation appear to be okay with this double standard. But being okay with the kind of animation that prioritizes objectifying details like women's hip thrusts and hair details over their facial characteristics leads to hilarious and hurtful unrealistic expectations for women.

Nowhere is this more evident than in gameplay. Take this Dragon Age video, a literal example of the Hawkeye Initiative in animated action. In this genderbend, the playable male character of Hawke has been given the game mechanics of his female counterpart—exaggerated hip movements, demure, passive feet-shuffling, and a hilarious sexy idling position, complete with outthrust leg and Angelina Jolie pose:

These exaggerated moves look ridiculous on both versions of these characters, but we're conditioned to accept them as part of the way animated female characters are portrayed. And our reactions when the same absurdly sexualized gestures are applied to both genders couldn't be more different, or more sexist:

Gif via DAPS

Gif via ONTD

So if these poses are so absurd, why are women so routinely drawn and animated in ways that utilize them? The answer is that women in animation are drawn primarily by men.

Men dominate the fields of animation both within the entertainment industry and the gaming industry. In 2010, only 17 percent of all animators in the Hollywood-geared Animation Guld were female. In gaming, the stats are even worse: as of last year, only 16 percent of artists and animators in the gaming industry were women. In comics, as of March, women barely comprised 16 percent of Marvel's roster of cover, pencil, and ink artists. DC was even worse: barely 11 percent.

When women are allowed to move and act naturally in games, the way that they have in many of the most acclaimed games with female playable characters, the results are empowering and interesting, as we see in this set from Mass Effect 3's Commander Shepard:

Gifs via mahariela

We can see this evolution in the game mechanics of Lara Croft, which have gradually become less exaggerated and stylized over time. Although these two mirror scenes take place in very different contexts, we can clearly see the change in the visual approach to the character.

Gif via tombraidergifs

Gif via troybaker

In the mechanics for the newly announced Rise of the Tomb Raider, Lara Croft's movements are desexualized and full of active movement:

Gif via negativeoneten

Gif via pride-rock

The movements of Femshep and the modern Lara Croft aren't overtly gendered. By allowing the range of female identity to be equal to those of male characters, the animation of those characters is more standardized as well. Game designer Jonathan Cooper, a lead developer on earlier Assassin's Creed and Mass Effect installments, pointed out this feature in an interview with Polygon yesterday.

"We made sure that their skeleton was identical so it could be shared across everything," Cooper said, speaking of his work on Mass Effect's playable characters. "I think maybe the female had shorter arms or something. We might have also replaced some animations like holding a gun or stuff, but otherwise they're just shared across all the characters, all the different races."

On Twitter, Cooper had earlier called bullshit on Ubisoft's claim that animating a playable female character would have taken "double the work." While one developer working on the game estimated that it would need up to 8,000 replacement animations to insert a playable female character, Cooper suggested that it would really only have taken days. "Man, if I had a dollar for every time someone at Ubisoft tried to bullsh** me on animation tech."

If Cooper is correct, then the problem with Assassin's Creed and Frozen is not that women are too hard to animate; it's that the industries which rely on animation also rely on outdated and sexist standards for how women should be visually portrayed. To update those technologies with a less complacent eye for how animated female characters are drawn might mean less eye candy for the male animators who create them. 

It's not that women with overtly sexualized features can't also be empowering. Women have long derived empowerment and self-confidence from characters who pander to the male gaze, like Ryuko from Kill La Kill or Juliet from the uber-violent Lollipop Chainsaw.

Gif by jeremypamyupamyu

But when women are consistently portrayed this way, across a spectrum of media designed for audiences of all genders and ages, it makes it harder for real women to be taken seriously as anything more than sexual objects by the industries that work to erase and sexualize them. No wonder the average salaries of female artists in the gaming industry are a whopping 29 percent less than their male counterparts.

Portraying animated women without overtly sexualized elements doesn't mean that women need to lose all traces of beauty or feminity. Take Lightning Farron from Final Fantasy 13. She's never objectified. She's also able to be badass as welll as sensitive, loyal, nurturing, and protective.

Gif via kennytrevas

Gifs via champion-of-etro

Ultimately, if the fundamental technological principles behind the animation used to create entertainment products don't make it easy for those products to have an inherently equitable gender ratio, then those fundamentals are flawed. But that also means that the industries which rely on animation have more opportunities than ever to reinvent visual standards for female characters.

It starts by acknowledging the need to do better by female characters, female artists, and female audiences. While a full solution encompasses change at every level of the industries that utilize sexist visual standards, it's easy to see where to start. Move away from the visual emphasis on objectified body parts and start illustrating women the way they want to be viewed in real life: 

As people. 

Illustration via pitoxlon/deviantART

Did this Hollywood blogger just out DC's Wonder Woman plans?

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One of Hollywood's biggest gossip journalists is going all-in for her own blog launch with a rumor about comics fandom's No. 1 Most-Wanted: An actual sighting of a Wonder Woman film.

Nikki Finke, former founder and editor-in-chief of Deadline, launched her own blog yesterday, NikkiFinke.com. She hit the ground running, claiming to have gotten a major scoop that reveals DC Comics is planning a major San Diego Comic-Con announcement: a Wonder Woman movie scheduled for 2017.

DC recently announced a slate of films through 2018 that included titles for several other members of the Justice League, including a Justice League movie. But while Gal Gadot is contracted to play the Amazonian superhero for at least three films, a Wonder Woman movie was nowhere on the list.

Could DC Comics have simply been saving the big announcement for Comic-Con? The 2017 release date for a Wonder Woman film slots nicely in with Marvel's October announcement that it had no plans for a female-led movie before 2017. 

In the meantime, there are plenty of other surprises on DC's rumored Comic-Con list—if true:

May 2016 – Batman v Superman
July 2016 – Shazam
Xmas 2016 – Sandman
May 2017 – Justice League
July 2017 – Wonder Woman
Xmas 2017 – Flash and Green Lantern team-up
May 2018 – Man Of Steel 2

Of all of these, Shazam seems the most out of step, tonally, with the rest, but it fits with DC's probable attempts to go wacky and lighter alongside Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy. The Sandman movie is a previously confirmed vehicle produced by Joseph Gordon-Levitt alongside Neil Gaiman and screenwriter David Goyer.

Finke's unnamed source said that the delayed release date for Batman vs. Superman had to do with contract negotiations as DC and Warner Bros. attempted to line up stars for future movies in order to make cameo appearances in their earlier ones:

The cameos will include the already known Cyborg and Flash. Green Lantern [not played by Ryan Reynolds, thank god] may be introduced.  And Aquaman will be seen in the Justice League movie. Problem is, Warner Bros Pictures was still negotiating with the actors for those cameos and future roles, meaning major contracts for multiple JL/character films to follow. ... Seemingly simple reason, but the implications are pretty darn huge.

If true, we could be seeing even more interesting teamups and solo vehicles for DC stars like Aquaman after the 2018 mark. But how reliable is this lineup? So far, DC's been mum, though they have made regular Facebook updates since Finke's attention-grabbing post.

Still, there's a lot riding on Finke being right—not just the hopes and dreams of Wonder Woman fans around the globe. Finke left Deadline last fall after selling it for a reported $14 million in 2011. But she carried her legacy with her—that of a fearless, cutthroat journalist who rarely named sources and went hardball to get early scoops from the entertainment industry.

Yesterday, Finke launched her independent blog site, vowing to deliver "this town’s gritty reality exposed through the harsh glare of my reporting." At Deadline, Finke was perhaps the most-feared, ruthless gossip reporter in Hollywood. So she needs attention-getting, accurate early scoops now to put her new site on the map in a wide field of entertainment media.

The DC Comic-Con announcement was the very first to go up on Finke's website after her introductory post. Although no additional attention was given to the Wonder Woman detail, it seems intended to be the scoop heard around the geek world.

Even if Finke is ultimately wrong about a 2017 Wonder Woman movie, we now have plenty to digest in the month before Comic-Con. And it's meaningful that one of Hollywood's famed gossip reporters chose to open her new website with a nod to the significance of a Wonder Woman movie, not just for geeks, but for women everywhere.

Illustration via DC Comics

'Emma Approved' launches real-life charity crowdfunding campaign

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Emma may not be quite as advice-savvy as she thinks, but when it comes to fundraising, we can't help but approve of her methods.

Pemberley Digital, the media group that brought you the Emmy-award-winning Lizzie Bennet Diaries, is using its sizeable fanbase to fund a charity through the narrative of their latest webseries, Emma Approved. The online adaptation of Jane Austen's Emma has a current arc that involves a human rights campaign. So what better way to flex Pemberley Digital's hefty transmedia muscles than by overlapping Emma's storyline with a real-life charity drive?

Even if you don't know what transmedia storytelling is, there's a chance you've experienced it, through interactive and overlapping media formats that bring a story to life on multiple platforms, online and offline. For Lizzie Bennet, producers Bernie Su and Hank Green gave their characters various social media accounts to help tell their story. Now, in the universe of Emma Approved, the characters are turning to crowdfunding. Lifestyle coach and event planner Emma Woodhouse is currently hosting an audacious, high-profile bachelor/bachelorette auction to support human rights. Three of the other members of the cast—Alex Knightley, Jane Fairfax and Frank Churchill—all are pitching in to raise money for the real-world anti-human trafficking organization 27 Million. And they're using the real-world crowdfunding website Everyday Hero to supplement the charity auction.

That means that Emma's audience members have the opportunity to pitch in through the crowdfunding site even though, obviously, they can't go to the fictional auction—an ironic attempt to fundraise for a charity against human trafficking by, er, auctioning people. We can't see this going well in Emma's fictional universe, but in real-world terms, it has gone well. After setting a modest goal of $1,000, the webseries quickly met it and has since upped the goal to $2500. And by encouraging audience members to donate on behalf of their favorite character, the series has also allowed for some fun audience and character interactions:

screencap of the characters from Emma Approved responding to and thanking their donating team members (from the audience).

Though the context of the story is fun, the real-world implications are profound: after all, the name of the non-profit, 27 Million, comes from the state department's staggering estimated number of human slaves around the world.

“We are thrilled to combine the power of an interactive story with the passion of our dedicated fans to help raise funds and awareness for an important cause,” executive producer Bernie Su stated in a press release. “The opportunity to use a classic fictional tale to have a positive impact on a real global issue is exciting to us, both as storytellers and people who care about bettering the world—just like Emma.”

You can contribute to the campaign between now and the end of June, so pick your favorite character and donate in their name. 

Emma would most definitely approve.

Screenshot via Pemberley Digital/YouTube

A horror novice's guide to H.P. Lovecraft

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If you paid any attention to the hype surrounding HBO’s True Detective earlier this year, you probably noticed that the series’ numerous literary references got extensive media play. Above them all was a recurring reference to the series as “Lovecraftian.” But what exactly linked this police drama to the Dread Cthulhu? Can you just slap the Lovecraft label onto anything these days?

Not exactly. Like its predecessors in the niche genre of Lovecraftian fiction, True Detective had its hooks into a few classic tenets of horror that are finding a resurgence lately, both in the Internet’s cult love for Cthulhu and in the recent revival of Weird Fiction.

Lovecraft's tales of terror inspired Alien designer H.R. Giger and gave us one of the most enduring modern monsters of the 20th century. They also gave us the gory cult horror classic Reanimator and the Necronomicon, a book so storied many people don't realize it's not actually real. 

With this week’s new Legends of Cthulhu card game already smashing its Kickstarter goal, we thought it was the perfect time to drench ourselves in pig blood and summon the Great One to reveal Lovecraft's secrets unto our media outlet. Steady on for your encounter with the true and ultimate horror, and all the things that make Lovecraft such an enduring force in fiction today. 

What’s a Lovecraft?

Lovecraft refers to H.P. Lovecraft, a turn-of-the-20th-century author whose works were a key part of the early days of pulp-based science fiction, fantasy, and horror. A creative egalitarian, Lovecraft borrowed tidbits of story elements and influence from other authors, like the fabled city of Carcosa, which passed from Ambrose Bierce to Robert W. Chambers to Lovecraft and authors after him until it showed up in Louisiana in the climactic final episode of True Detective, and other unknown locations since.

Lovecraft also eagerly encouraged other authors to borrow and build on his works, which helped foster a thriving tradition of Lovecraft fanfiction, remixes, and crossover elements. It didn’t do much for him financially—he died penniless and unknown—but he fostered such a loyal cult following of horror aficionados that over time his renown grew. Today he is considered one of the most influential speculative fiction writers of the 20th century.

What’s “Weird Fiction?”

Weird Fiction refers to a specific kind of horror that harkens back to the pulpy days of Lovecraft and the magazine in which he was most frequently published, Weird Tales. The body of Lovecraft’s work consists primarily of short stories and novellas, all of which are freely available online today. The basic characteristics of Lovecraft’s fiction are traits shared by many of those writers who came both before and after him:

  • Gravely serious, detail-rich descriptions of untold horrors, often blended with existential wonder:

GIF via goingsomewhereisnothere

  • Brief, terrifying encounters with unholy, otherworldly phenomena, which makes the narrator (and the reader) feel as though they have glimpsed the edge of a vast and overwhelming darkness. “I have looked upon all that the universe has to hold of horror,” Lovecraft writes in “The Call of Cthulhu.”

GIF via onthescreenreviews.com

  • References to mythical or fictional cities, people, places, or things, such as Lovecraft’s Necronomicon or Chambers’ terrifying play The King in Yellow. The implication is usually that these myths or esoteric creations are real and accessible to a certain number of doomed explorers, many of whom write from a position of horror after journeying to the lost city, or finding and reading the forbidden book, etc.

Photo via goodlolz

  • Narrators who cannot escape unscathed from what they have encountered, and who either gradually go mad from the encounter, die, commit suicide, or transform into some otherworldly being or monstrous creature themselves. In Lovecraft, the safe option is usually, but not always, madness.

To be clear, Lovecraft didn't invent weird fiction, which was a style already kicking about when he came along. But he did coin the term "Weird Fiction," and codified much of it. Here's how he described all the elements mentioned above in his 1933 essay on the subject:

"My reason for writing stories is to give myself the satisfaction of visualising more clearly and detailedly and stably the vague, elusive, fragmentary impressions of wonder, beauty, and adventurous expectancy which are conveyed to me by certain sights (scenic, architectural, atmospheric, etc.), ideas, occurrences, and images encountered in art and literature. I choose weird stories because they suit my inclination best—one of my strongest and most persistent wishes being to achieve, momentarily, the illusion of some strange suspension or violation of the galling limitations of time, space, and natural law which for ever imprison us and frustrate our curiosity about the infinite cosmic spaces beyond the radius of our sight and analysis."

Weird fiction often blurs the lines between horror and fantasy, and while the term usually refers to the vintage writers between the late 19th century and the 1930s, it's also a good description of many of the works of China Mieville, Clive Barker, and even somber modern horror masterpieces like House of Leaves.

Of course, none of them quite have what Lovecraft has—the monster at the center of all his nightmares.

Who is the Dread One?

Like all the great and terrible horrors, the Dread One has many names: Great Cthulhu, Tsathoggua, and Him Who is not to be Named (yes, like Voldemort). 

C-what-thu?

Cthulhu. Traditionally, Cthulhu has no “correct” pronunciation because it’s an unknown ancient tongue meant to invoke horror, hence why he is not to be named.

In reality, anecdotally Lovecraft himself pronounced it “Cut-a-loo,” but in our modern age of reverence for the Great One, we generally pronounce it “ka-thoo-loo.”

So what is this Ka-thoo-loo?

We meet him first in the 1928 short story “The Call of Cthulhu,” featured in the classic fiction magazine Weird Tales. He first appears as a mysterious stone statue carved in homage to some alien god:

A monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind. This thing, which seemed instinct with a fearsome and unnatural malignancy, was of a somewhat bloated corpulence, and squatted evilly on a rectangular block or pedestal covered with undecipherable characters. The tips of the wings touched the back edge of the block, the seat occupied the centre, whilst the long, curved claws of the doubled-up, crouching hind legs gripped the front edge and extended a quarter of the way down toward the bottom of the pedestal. The cephalopod head was bent forward, so that the ends of the facial feelers brushed the backs of huge fore paws which clasped the croucher’s elevated knees.

So basically, Cthulhu is a giant winged monster with a tentacle face. Here’s how Lovecraft thought his terrifying stone sculpture looked:

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

Cute, right? But as “The Call of Cthulhu” continues with a voyage to Southern Pacific waters, it becomes evident that the Great Old Ones, namely Cthulhu and his band of slumbering monsters, are alive in the Antarctic Sea and planning your doom:

[T]he men sight a great stone pillar sticking out of the sea...a coastline of mingled mud, ooze, and weedy Cyclopean masonry which can be nothing less than the tangible substance of earth's supreme terror—the nightmare corpse-city of R'lyeh, that was built in measureless aeons behind history by the vast, loathsome shapes that seeped down from the dark stars. There lay great Cthulhu and his hordes, hidden in green slimy vaults and sending out at last, after cycles incalculable, the thoughts that spread fear to the dreams of the sensitive and called imperiously to the faithfull to come on a pilgrimage of liberation and restoration.

The important things to note here are:

A) There’s a lost city at the bottom of the world called R'lyeh.

B) Cthulhu, even while slumbering ominously beneath the deep, can infiltrate your mind and drive you mad with the summons to join him in his lair of darkness.

Photo via horrordimensions

The story goes on to describe the lost city as a nightmarish blend of non-Euclidean geometry and bizarre shapes and structures, a “dripping Babylon of elder daemons.”

Images of Cthulhu proliferate our modern world, most of them fixated on the moment when he rises from the deep to great, doomed "Call of Cthulhu" ship The Alert.

Illustration by obrotowy/deviantART

Photo via trapjaw

Today, Cthulhu's followers are predictably legion, though most of them are really just Lovecraft fans. A few devout believers, however, have formed an actual Cult of Cthulhu, based on Lovecraft's assertions that the fictional Cthulhu had a strong cult of human devotees. The modern-day Cult of Cthulhu was founded in 2008 by Darrick Dishaw, a.k.a. High Priest Venger Satanis, who comfortingly told Before It's News last year that he was "actively trying to push our slimy green agenda. Madness is only a form of alien sanity."

As you can see from the (possibly NSFW) Cthulhu priest cosplay below, the cult is alive and well:

Photo via ianference

Who are the other Great Old Ones?

It's not necessarily specified that Cthulhu and the other Lovecraftian monsters are pals, but a number of figures recur again and again throughout his stories. For example, in "The Whisperer in Darkness," the narrator's mysterious host hears the Dread One being summoned, along with other mysteries of the deep.

Many of these monsters have names. Here they are, in descending order of scary:

Yog-Sothoth

A god of the cosmos and a "limitless being," Yog-Sothoth may or may not exist on the edge of consciousness, between this universe and the next. Yog-Sothoth appears most prominently in "The Dunwich Horror." It is often depicted as having many eyes, probably because of its all-knowing state. It probably looks nothing like this guy, but we still like to dream:

Screengrab via Fanpop

Shoggoth

Shoggoths make appearances in numerous Lovecraft stories, most notably "At the Mountains of Madness," where its terrible nature is revealed. Made of eyes, it's basically a slimy, green, putrid blob. Its greatest evil? Murdering the helpless blind albino penguins that live beneath the Antarctic:

We were on the track ahead as the nightmare plastic column of foetid black iridescence oozed tightly onward through its fifteen-foot sinus; gathering unholy speed and driving before it a spiral, re-thickening cloud of the pallid abyss-vapour. It was a terrible, indescribable thing vaster than any subway train—a shapeless congeries of protoplasmic bubbles, faintly self-luminous, and with myriads of temporary eyes forming and unforming as pustules of greenish light all over the tunnel-filling front that bore down upon us, crushing the frantic penguins and slithering over the glistening floor that it and its kind had swept so evilly free of all litter.

Illustration by scythemantis

Night-Gaunts

These literal night terrors appeared in only one Lovecraft story, but they left quite an impression. Oily, demonic creatures with bat-wings and no faces to speak of, they actually emerged from Lovecraft's childhood nightmares: "When I was 6 or 7," he wrote in a letter once, "I used to be tormented constantly with a peculiar type of recurrent nightmare in which a monstrous race of entities (called by me 'night-gaunts'...) used to snatch me up [and] carry me off." Color us creeped out.

Illustration by neriak

Azathoth

A "demon-sultan" who "rules all time and space from a curiously environed black throne at the centre of Chaos," Azathoth is considered the greatest and most terrible of all the gods, a "mindless entity" ruled by a love of evil.

But really, his main scare tactic, as we learn in "The Dreamquest of Unknown Kadath," just seems to be shitty band music: 

"[Azathoth] gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time amidst the muffled, maddening beating of vile drums and the thin, monotonous whine of accursed flutes; to which detestable pounding and piping dance slowly, awkwardly, and absurdly the gigantic ultimate gods..."

Oh, and he can also create fathomless black holes and blot out your existence at will. No big deal.

Illustration by xlegandariumx

The Elder Things

In "At the Mountains of Madness," Lovecraft spends lots of time talking about the "elder earth" and the ancient monsters that bubbled out of the cosmos to create the earth "as jest or mistake." Yog-Sothoth, Shiggoths, the "primal jelly," and "the eyes in darkness" are all given as examples of these creatures, along with a host of general alien and primordial terrors. But we prefer to think of them as cuddly camping companions, along with the aforementioned albino penguins:

Illustration by mctalon

Tsathoggua

Tsathoggua is an evil, giant, black toad-god. Cool. Even cooler, Tsathoggua is a creation of Lovecraft's friend Clark Ashton Smith, who wrote original stories as well as stories within the Cthulhu Mythos alongside Lovecraft in Weird Tales. Lovecraft worked Tsathoggua into his own stories multiple times.

Photo via loneanimator

Other creations Lovecraft had in his terrifying Rolodex of ancient beings: sentient fungi, hideous fish-humans who dwell underwater for eternity, an ancient pharoah/monster who's probably an alien reptiloid, and a terrifying fertility goddess, Shub-Niggurath.

Landscapes of horror

In addition to the gamut of monsters with which he populated his stories, Lovecraft used a number of recurring details and fictional locations to build his universe. The Arkham Asylum, which later lent itself to Gotham City's Arkham Asylum in the DC Comics Batverse, was a familiar Lovecraftian haunt. It appears as the name of the fictional city of Arkham, Mass., and as that town's asylum, and also as the name of a boat venturing to the Antarctic in "At the Mountains of Madness."

Folks ventured to the Antarctic a frequent amount in Lovecraft's stories, although he made it clear horror could be found anywhere, such as in his fictional New England settings of Arkham, Mass., rural upstate Vermont ("The Whisperer in Darkness"), and the other fictional town of Dunwich, home to the "Dunwich Horror" and the fictional Miskatonic University, where a deadly copy of the Necronomicon is housed.

What's the Necronomicon?

The Necronomicon is a fictional grimoire. While grimoires are real books written to house spells, names of demons, and serve generally as creepy magical record-keeping, the Necronomicon is an entirely fake creation of Lovecraft's. It appeared again and again in his work, the Book of the Dead, which held the key to summoning the Great Old Ones and basically unleashing the untold evil ancient powers of the universe. 

Photo via ryoshi-un

The Necronomicon has become such a standard part of modern mythology that it seems as though it has always been with us. But then Lovecraftian mythos has snuck its way into just about every modern horror concept, from insane asylums to occult symbols. His influence has popped up everywhere from The Evil Dead to Ghostbusters to Harry Potter to Pirates of the Caribbean to Welcome to Night Vale.

GIF via tentacly-davy

Lovecraftian fiction is alive and well today, with countless adaptations of his works, new authors writing weird fiction, and the threading of Lovecraftian's brand of cosmic horror into new works like True Detective

Really? Do you have any less-obvious examples?

Yes. Here are a few unconventional films with Lovecraftian elements:

  • Solaris, Tarkovsky's 1972 masterpiece of space drama and dreamlike horror.
  • Dark City, a popular 1998 cult fantasy that blends a film noir plot with surreal, edge-of-madness dread.
  • Pontypool, a weird, wonderful, maybe-zombie film from 2008 that inserts madness into the very language we speak. Bonus: It's on Netflix!
  • The Mist, Frank Darabont's popular 2007 adaptation of Stephen King's most underrated novel.
  • Absentia, a low-budget, critically acclaimed 2012 horror film that only hints, in the best Lovecraftian tradition, of the horror just beyond our door. Also on Netflix.
  • Kill List, an independent 2011 Irish film which, much like True Detective, takes two reluctant partners, in this case hit men, on a journey into utter darkness. Also on Netflix. 

Ultimately, Lovecraftian horror is a timeless formula for blending ancient terror with the human spirit of exploration and discovery. As our ability to map the universe grows, we need Lovecraft more than ever, to remind us that some things will always remain vast and unknowable—and they probably should.

“I now felt gnawing at my vitals that dark terror which will never leave me till I, too, am at rest.”

Illustration by fiend-upon-my-back/deviantART


Anita Sarkeesian accuses games of treating women as 'glorified furniture'

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The comments and ratings are still disabled, but almost two years after her polarizing Kickstarter to fund a thorough critique of sexism in gaming, it seems the cloud of controversy around feminist pop culture critic Anita Sarkeesian may finally be clearing.

Yesterday, hot on the heels of a controversial E3 which saw Ubisoft weakly defend its decision to release its latest Assassin's Creed without a single playable female character, Sarkeesian released the fifth video in her Tropes vs. Women in Video Games series, a subseries of her popular Tropes vs. Women series, which critiques the way women are portrayed in media.

Her latest video looks at the frequent tendency of gaming culture to portray women as background objects. If you're already wincing, it's for good reason. The segment includes take-no-prisoners examples of even beloved franchises—Dragon Age, Fallout, and yes, Assassin's Creed—using women as decorative props in order to entice or incite male players. She also touches on the ways that real women have been exploited by this view of female bodies as objects, from the historic use of women to market gaming ads, to "booth babes," and the real-life harassment that women in geek culture routinely face.

As Sarkeesian has moved away from the threshhold of gaming's rampant and multilayered examples of sexism, her critiques have gotten longer and even more thorough. The latest edition is the longest yet, clocking in at just over 30 minutes. It may also be the most blunt. Here's how Sarkeesian describes the trope of women as decorative objects:

I define the Women as Background Decoration trope in video games as the subset of largely insignificant non-playable female characters whose sexuality or victimhood is exploited as a way to infuse edgy, gritty, or racy flavoring into game worlds. These sexually objectified female bodies are designed to function as environmental texture while titillating presumed straight male players. Sometimes they’re created to be glorified furniture, but they are frequently programmed as minimally interactive sex objects to be used and abused.

Sarkeesian goes on to deliver dozens of examples showcasing what "glorified furniture" looks like in practice. Hint: It usually involves having only one purpose—to deliver sleazy come-ons to the male playable character as a way of providing "atmosphere." And, of course, the typical gamut of over-the-top sexual objectification, so ubiquitous you might not even notice it until it's pointed out in the context of a video like Sarkeesian's:

GIF by Aja Romano

You can watch the entire enlightening video below, or on Sarkeesian's Feminist Frequency channel—or check out the full transcript here. After that, you might want to go hug a gamer girl near you, and thank them for putting up with, well, gaming.

Photo via anitasarkeesian/Flickr

Soldier will reunite with the dog his girlfriend sold on Craigslist

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As if dodging land mines overseas isn’t enough stress, one U.S. soldier almost had to worry about never seeing his beloved pet again. His girlfriend sold the dog on Craigslist while he was deployed.

But luckily, the social power of the Internet kicked in to make his search to be reunited with his dog a viral success.


 

Friends and family of Colorado Army Specialist Robert Gabbert turned to the power of the Internet and local media for help after a local family bought Gabbert's Shiba Inu, Baxter, and refused to give it back.

Local news outlet KOAA reported that the family initially rejected at least $1,400 in reward money, as well as an offer from the Colorado Shiba Inu Rescue Society to help them find a new dog if they would just give Gabbert back his.

The family claimed that they bought Baxter fair and square off of Craigslist while Robby was deployed in Afghanistan.

In March, Gabbert made plans to have Baxter delivered to his parents’ house in Ohio while he was overseas, because his girlfriend was having trouble taking care of the dog in his absence.

Instead, when Baxter never made it to Gabbert’s parents, they discovered that not only had his girlfriend sold the dog on Craigslist without consulting him, but she had no idea to whom she'd sold the dog.

In order to locate the family to whom Gabbert's girlfriend—now his ex-girlfriend—had sold the dog, Gabberts' friends and family put up missing pet flyers around the Fort Carson, Colo., area where Gabbert lives. Their search went viral, and a Facebook page made by Gabbert's supporters, Help Bring Baxter Home!, had over 2000 followers before it was deleted earlier this week.

After realizing that Gabbert was searching for his dog, the family contacted him to let him know the dog was safe. But they initially wouldn't give Baxter back to his original owner because they said they had children who would miss him.

To that, Gabbert's mother, Karen Fraley, insisted, "My child’s attached to the dog! Just because he’s older doesn’t mean he’s not my child."

Gabbert is still overseas for the next six months, but in the meantime, his viral search has gotten even more popular, as more and more media outlets converge on the family.

It was all apparently enough to persuade the family to give Baxter back: Gabbert now claims the recalcitrant family has returned the dog to him and his family at last.

Praise the lord and pass the Purina.

Screengrab via KOAA

You're a failed parent unless you get your toddler this tiny Iron Throne

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Take a popular lifestyle photographer-slash–mommy blogger. Add a couple of 3D-printing gurus and a heaping helping of Internet culture, and what do you get?

The next ruler of Westeros, apparently.

“Baby Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Master of the Chubbies, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, Sucker of Boobies, Protector of the Realm has usurped the throne,” Georgia Brizuela declared on Facebook Monday:



Georgia Brizuela is a birth photographer and family mentor from Brisbane, Australia. On her website, Documenting Delights, she showcases beautiful pictures of newborns and their families, as well as other snapshots of her own family life that are so picturesque they'll have you alternately reaching for the tissue box or the barf bag, depending on what kind of human you are. With nearly 30,000 followers on Facebook, it would seem most people are in the “like” camp. 

Photo via Documenting Delights

Georgia's brother, Isaac, and his wife, Julie, are forward-thinking tech nerds with a love of tech innovation, hacker culture, and 3D printing. "We like to hack our 3D printer, our lives, jobs and our children’s education," they wrote recently. 

The two have channeled their love into a new business, Doodaddoes.com, where they sell a host of futuristic 3D-printing accessories, including a full printing kit for a Rostock Max 3-D printer.

The two branches of the family seem to be worlds apart, except for how they're all clearly shamelessly talented overachievers who make the rest of us look like losers. (To add insult to injury, a third sibling is also an award-winning professional photographer who launched a viral 365-day social media project in 2010.) But they all have at least one thing in common: their love for Game of Thrones

In March, the families were watching the latest ep of the HBO series together when Georgia, mommy blogger extraordinaire, started brainstorming ideas for a Westeros-themed family photoshoot. In the process, she asked her brother, "Hey, could you print a throne?"

What started out as a whim turned into an exhaustive search to find a blueprint for the throne that could be adapted for 3D printing, and over 30 hours of painstaking, detail-laden work to produce the finished product. On the blog for the new business, Julie wrote about the intensive labor she and Isaac undertook to bring the throne to life.

The two managed to find a blueprint for the throne and adapt it for their 3D printer, along with a golden crown. Then they printed the throne base, chair support, backing, and other elements of the chair in separate pieces:

Photos via Doodaddoes

The pair estimated that the project required 100 hours of printing.

But in the end, the Iron Throne might have ironically united the two siblings, Isaac and Georgia, and given them even more in common than they originally had. "We felt like crazy proud parents when it was finished," Julie wrote. "And my nephew is the most adorable Baratheon ever, hands down."

On her Facebook page, Georgia announced a giveaway of the custom-built throne for anyone who signed up for Doodaddoes's newsletter. She also shared the photo on Instagram, adding, "I've been having too much fun making GOT memes."

Photo via Instagram

To complete the Internet meme tri-fecta, Isaac and Julie posted the project to Reddit and Imgur yesterday.

But they also cautioned that despite the photographic evidence to the contrary—not to mention the throne's kid-sized scale—the product isn't exactly suitable for children.

"[The corners of the chair] are very dangerous and I wouldn't recommend using this for kids," Isaac wrote on Reddit.

Still, if you want this menacing addition to your kid's playroom—and what megalomaniacal despot wouldn't?—you can enter to win at Georgia's Facebook after signing up for Isaac and Julie's newsletter.

Just don't ask how bloody the struggle will be to determine the throne's new owner. We're guessing the battle will be fierce.

Photos via Doodaddoes

Disney's 'Into the Woods' sucks all the fun out of the classic

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It was always inevitable that a Disney adaptation of the beloved Sondheim musical Into the Woods would suffer from, well, Disneyfication.

But if reports surfacing from a recent private talk Sondheim gave in New York are accurate, it sounds like the film is shaping up to be an, erm, giant-sized disaster. 

Hang on to your hats, musical lovers. The word from the living legend himself is that Disney's version of Into the Woods is excising much of what made it the complicated adult fairy tale we all know and love—including at least one pivotal musical number, lots of implied and overt sexual activity, and one major character spoiler.

GIF by Aja Romano

Read on for the details, and obviously for spoilers. (Though if you've gone the last 28 years without seeing Into the Woods at least once, the more fool you.)

As first reported by the New Yorker, Sondheim said in a recent master class for drama teachers that Disney has jettisoned many of the second-act complications that make Into the Woods unique in the wide pantheon of fairy tale retellings. According to Sondheim, Disney has decided not to kill off Rapunzel, a decision which necessitated Sondheim and librettist James Lapine, over protests, having to write a new song in order to facilitate one of the show's major plot points.

"You will find in the movie that Rapunzel does not get killed, and the prince does not sleep with the [Baker's Wife]," Playbillreported.  "But Disney said, 'we don't want Rapunzel to die,' so we replotted it. I won't tell you what happens, but we wrote a new song to cover it."

In the stage version of the musical, Rapunzel is crushed by an invading giant in a moment that brings reality crashing down upon the ensemble cast of characters as well as the audience. We can only speculate that now the movie will most likely involve Rapunzel exiting pursued by a giant only to resurface later to sing a convenient anthem of independence that will motivate her surrogate mother, the witch, to do what she does next. This would be functional, but hardly as satisfying or as difficult to deal with, as the original. And of course that's the whole point.

But that's not the only thing Disney is cutting. Sondheim also stated, reportedly to accompanying outcries of dismay from the audience, that the pivotal Act 2 number between Cinderella's Prince and the Baker's Wife, "Any Moment," is also cut.

"The song is cut," he said. "I'm sorry, I should say, it's probably cut."

For perspective, "Any Moment" is one of two interconnected and mutually showstopping numbers to feature the Baker's Wife. It's hard to imagine Into the Woods without "Any Moment." It's crucial to the Baker's Wife's character development—a role for which original cast member Joanna Gleason won a Tony. Additionally, it's thematically one of the most important songs of the show, the event that solidifies the titular "woods" as the metaphorical place where juvenile fantasy and fairy tale meet and collide with adult consequences. And since "Any Moment" later connects with "Moments in the Woods," both leading to a major plot spoiler, it's hard to understand how the movie version will move from Point A to Point B. 

Plus, it's just a crying shame to lose lines like, "Any moment we could be crushed / don't feel rushed" and "Life is often so unpleasant / you must know that as a peasant / best to take the moment present / as a present for the moment."

And that's not the end of the Disney, what were you thinking? madness. Sondheim also hinted that the film would be toning down much of the blatant sexual overtones of Red Riding Hood's entire character arc, which would inevitably mean that the innuendo and metaphor-laden musical numbers "Hello, Little Girl," and "I Know Things Now" would have to be severely edited if not cut altogether.

Since the Red Riding Hood fable has never not been a sexual metaphor, it's hard to know what Disney executives were expecting. But perhaps in its eagerness to expand its foray into subversive fairy tales, the Mouse got ahead of itself.

In recent years, Disney's love of fairy tales has turned postmodern. The studio has been popping out subversions of fairy tale tropes right and left in the 21st century, from its mega-hit Frozen to its hybrid fairy tale free-for-all ABC series Once Upon a TimeAs it's turned more postmodern, it's also turned, surprisingly and frequently, more adult. To some degree, it has Sondheim to thank for this: After all, Sondheim and Steven Schwartz, the composer who would pen the musical Wicked along with several Disney films, worked side by side on Broadway for decades. Schwartz's groundbreaking and disturbing musical number "Hellfire" from Hunchback of Notre Dame borrowed much in terms of concept and structure from a very similar number that Sondheim used in Sweeney Todd.  

And there's no other phrase than "blatant ripoff" for Disney's attempt to homage the witch from Into the Woods in its 2010 film Tangled. Not only are they both different versions of the same character, but Tangled's version, Mother Gothel, looks and acts very similar to Bernadette Peters' witch from Into the Woods:

Tangled's witch was voiced in her musical numbers by famed Sondheim musical star Donna Murphy (Passion), and both Tangled and Into the Woods purport to show a more complicated version of the classic Rapunzel myth, with its dark themes and surrogate family dysfunction.

Perhaps most tellingly, both versions specifically portray the witch as being obsessed with obtaining ageless beauty. This is a theme that does not appear in the original versions of the myth, but one which Sondheim explicitly invented and associated with the witch in Into the Woods.

But if you look closely, Tangled's use of the Rapunzel/witch dynamic shows exactly how ill-prepared Disney was to handle Into the Woods with care. In Into the Woods, the entire point of the mother-daughter relationship between the Witch and Rapunzel is that it's real. The witch's love for Rapunzel trumps any of her other motivations, causing her to sing, in the end, that she'd rather have her original "claws and a hump" over the pain of losing her daughter.

In 1986, when postmodern fairy tales like Into the Woods were few and far between, the Witch's modern identity crisis and basic humanity was an incredibly unexpected and complicating factor that contributed to the musical's ultimate moral message that "Witches can be right / giants can be good / you decide what's right / you decide what's good."

In Tangled, this nuance and level of complexity is nonexistent. Mother Gothel is ultimately just as shallow and one-dimensional as her obsession with beauty would appear, and while she goes through the motions of having a complicated relationship with her daughter, it's all an act to help her attain her true goal of eternal beauty.

Without the ability or willingness to explore complex relationships between mother and older teenage daughter, Disney ultimately falls back on the convenient moral platitudes it's been using in its animated films for decades: The evil witch is always an evil witch; the older woman who seeks to be sexy is always, unfailingly, a villain; and surrogate family bonds are ultimately superficial compared to real family bonds. 

Ultimately, Tangled's homage to Into the Woods turned out to be no homage at all, and revealed a distinct lack of understanding for the importance of Into the Woods's at times heavy-handed but crucial reliance on choices that lead to serious consequences.

And ultimately, it seems fans who were expecting Disney to take a more complicated approach to its actual adaptation of Into the Woods than it did to Tangled are in for a major disappointment.

For now, your best shot at seeing the magic of Sondheim on film, consequences and complexity intact, is still the Great Performances filming of the original Broadway cast, which is luckily currently available on Netflix.

Photo via janessajaye.com

MTV's Fandom Awards are just asking for a bloodbath

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Perhaps this is all a part of MTV's secret strategy to declare Teen Wolf king of Tumblr after all the other fandoms lie fallen on the bloody battlefield.

But it seems that whoever thought to turn MTV's recently announced Fandom Awards into a competition between fandoms may have forgotten to ask actual fans how they felt.

When we first heard about the Fandom Awards, we were surprised but unsure what to expect. It seems, however, that MTV has taken a page from fandom itself and launched a fandom voting challenge that pits fans against one another in an epic get-out-the-vote competition for… something.

Turns out fans will be voting for their favorite fandom in a number of categories: Best Fandom Forever, Breakout Fandom of the Year, OMG Moment of the Year, Fandom Feat of the Year, and 'Ship of the Year. (MTV, can we talk about why you're putting a ' in front of "ship," a word which hasn't been a truncation of "relationship" in at least two decades? Do we need to have words?)

In a nod to what a behemoth it has become within the fandom community, voting for the Best Fandom Forever award will take place entirely on Tumblr.

Our early prediction: The slash ship Destiel will narrowly edge out Sterek in a repeat of The Backlot's last two slash tournaments. (Sterek won in 2012, Destiel in 2013). And Harry Potter will probably take home the prize for Best Fandom Forever, because we're all duty-bound to vote for Harry Potter in all things.

If we survive the bloody melee, that is.

The goal of the Fandom Awards is partly pleasant. Some categories are designed to reward fans in new and active fandoms and celebrate the cool accomplishments that fans have managed to do in the past year. But it's hard not to feel that the blatant emphasis on TV- and film-franchises is leaving out a lot. For example, the return of Sailor Moon to viewers in original format and as a reboot after almost 20 years is probably one of the year's genuine OMG moments. But there's no room for non-Western fandoms on MTV's radar. Other obvious wins for fandom, like Glee's gay wedding between Kurt and Blaine, don't make it onto the list either—although the controversial How I Met Your Mother finale, with an audience a bit outside of MTV's targeted demographic, does. And there are other considerations, too:

Then, of course, there's the shipping category.

Screengrab via MTV

"Do they want people to die?" was the very accurate assessment of Tumblr user claryfraylife at the news.

Ship wars and fandom wars have long been the bane of many fandoms, with loud, hostile, and competing shippers being one of the hallmarks of things that can cause a fandom to die out or lose fans fast.

Tumblr has evolved a cultural etiquette of "don't tag your hate" that attempts to cut down on the divisiveness of fandom's natural tendency to love the thing they love more than that thing you love. 

But it's also evolved a particularly sweet form of multi-fandom communion, through massive widespread fandom crossovers like Superwholock, which combines Tumblr's three largest TV-based fandoms, Supernatural, Doctor Whoand Sherlock into one epic crossover Alternate Universe. There's also Fandomstuck, which anthropomorphizes other fandoms into characters from the massively popular webseries Homestuck

The vote seems to be bringing up age divisions as well as fandom divisions. The spirit of mass competition didn't seem to go over well with longtime fans, several of whom complained privately to the Daily Dot that they were too old for this nonsense.  On Tumblr, where the voting for MTV's biggest category of "Best Fandom Forever" will take place, most fans either hadn't noticed yet or were eagerly promoting their own ships and fandoms. But older fans, like longtime fan Cleolinda, seemed to feel that MTV was co-opting a perfectly normal fannish concept—i.e., loving a thing—and turning it into an excuse to pit fans against one another:

"You realize they want you to fight each other like gladiators so they can make money off fandom, right? Make you fight over whose charity campaign (“Fandom Feat”) was more valuable? You think that they gain nothing from clickbait polls that will get 100,000s of hits? That they’re running that ~awards special~ commercial-free? ”Best Fandom Forever”? Get the fuck out of here."

While Cleolinda's cynicism is justifiable thanks to a long history of fans being exploited by corporations (looking at you, Amazon), it certainly won't be the first time the media has used fandom contests and polls to draw hits. In 2012, Entertainment Weekly's summer shipping poll attracted so much derision for leaving out popular slash pairings that After Elton, now The Backlot, stepped in and instituted a hugely popular annual slash shipping poll. At least MTV's contest is similarly slash-inclusive, though there's no hint anywhere of femslash ships like the uber-popular Once Upon a Time ship Swanqueen.

Still, for those of you who like a prizefight, no one brings a crowd frenzy to the ring like fandom. And let's face it—when was the last time you resisted an Internet poll featuring your favorite things? We're guessing the real battle will be internal—as you struggle to choose between all the fandoms you love.

Check out the full list of nominees below. You can vote beginning today at MTV U.

Breakout Fandom of the Year
Hannibal
Orphan Black
Sleepy Hollow
Frozen
Bates Motel

Ship of the Year
Stiles/Derek (Sterek), Teen Wolf
Dean/Castiel (Destiel), Supernatural
Sherlock/John Watson (Johnlock), Sherlock
Damon/Elena (Delena), The Vampire Diaries
Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark (Everlark), The Hunger Games

Fandom Feat of the Year
Veronica Mars– fans were successful in funding a Kickstarter campaign to create the Veronica Mars film
Teen Wolf– fans raised more than $25,000 to build a wolf sanctuary
Community– the fandom kept the show on the air by petitioning for more episodes, while also getting back original writer Dan Harmon
Hannibal– fans used their power to get the show renewed for a second season
SupernaturalMischa Collins and the fans of the series created “Random Acts,” raising money for charitable organizations

OMG Moment of the Year
Star Wars– new cast photo
Breaking Bad– series finale
Game of Thrones– The Purple Wedding
How I Met Your Mother– series finale
Batfleck– Ben Affleck cast in Batman v. Superman

Best Fandom Forever
Harry Potter
The Lord of the Rings
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Doctor Who
Sherlock
Batman

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

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